I knew I should have wiped the toilet seat at the theater last week, but I had to go so bad. Now my butt itches and I think it’s kind of flakey… do I have an STD? I am not sure.
It’s probably Barrack Obama’s fault either way. Because of his failed economic policies I had to do pay for gay porn, it hurt, but in a bad/good way. Either way, it itches down there.
Weird growths are the worse, they’re not like some Jewish person you can just toss in an oven. You have to see a doctor, I am against doctors though because of ObamaCare. I will not have the government tell me what sort of rash I can have on my anus. Give me liberty or given me fever blisters!
- Craig Brittain (Satirical)
P.S. Fuck this guy!