Chance Trahan Has An Itch He Can Not Scratch!

I found out that Chance and I are being made fun of! Made fun of I say! Stupid Obamabots are going around making youtube videos of us and you know what? CHANCE GONNA CALL THE POLICE ON Y’ALL!!!!

See that? Chance Trahan don’t mess around. He straight up gonna call you out and let you know shit is going down for reals. No one calls us DERPS, whatever that is. Probably some Jew talk for being super cool Aryans or something, aimirite? He better watch out before we gets David Blade III on his ass! You and your Big Porn lawyers are going down niggas!

-Craig Brittain (Satirical)

Picture via email is fair use, email text however is copyrighted.

The Mafia funded Big Porn conspiracy keeps trying to take me down. First they claim I can’t use people’s pictures without consent. Hey buddy, I go news for you. The girl sent her pictures via email, public communications, that’s all the consent you need to publish them. I thought these guys were lawyers right? Schmucks.

Then they go and make these blogs with my copyrighted material, mainly, my email exchanges with them. Like, what sort of lawyers are these? Emails are copyright. I mean any idiot off the streets of Colorado Springs can tell you that. Emails are copyrighted, attachments aren’t. That’s how I clean all my pirated music, I just email it to myself. The email is copyrighted but the attachment isn’t, so I remove the copyright restrictions on all my mp3s! Just trust me anyone who is original enough to take the domain and change it to and use the exact same business model, is a genius of copyright and legal shielding. Hell my sites have 16 layers of defense!

On a side note, does anyone know a home remedy for itchy butt crack?

-Craig Brittain (Satirical)

I may itch but I’m not a racist. Right?

Listen up fools, you wannabes, and nut scrapers, I am no racist. I am a misanthrope. Would a racist use these Steam Handles:

  1. God Is White, DIE NIGGERS
  2. 13 YEAR OLD NIGGER Admin
  3. Pizzas Don’t Scream
  4. Victory Oven
  5. Jew Oven
  6. Sieg Heil
  7. Adolf Hitler
  8. White Power
  9. ins agent

Of course not. Real racist hide the fact that they’re racist with handles like “I love my African American neighbor” and “Vote Obama 2012.” Anyone with half a brain knows this. I don’t hate other races, I just love White people so much! Look at the line I added to a wikipedia article on White Pride:

White pride is a slogan used to raise awareness of white racial identity, and to express solidarity. (See also: Black Pride)

See, I just want to revel in my whiteness. Super white. Super cool. Itchy though. So itchy.

– Craig Brittain (Satirical)

It itches down there…

I knew I should have wiped the toilet seat at the theater last week, but I had to go so bad. Now my butt itches and I think it’s kind of flakey… do I have an STD? I am not sure.

It’s probably Barrack Obama’s fault either way. Because of his failed economic policies I had to do pay for gay porn, it hurt, but in a bad/good way. Either way, it itches down there.

Weird growths are the worse, they’re not like some Jewish person you can just toss in an oven. You have to see a doctor, I am against doctors though because of ObamaCare. I will not have the government tell me what sort of rash I can have on my anus. Give me liberty or given me fever blisters!

– Craig Brittain (Satirical)


P.S. Fuck this guy!